


Into the Lands of Civilization Came

by cosmickaiju



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cass is Rose's gf and she's lovely, Dissociation, Dr Nyarlathotep, Identity Issues, Nonbinary Character, The Doctor's a bit of a mess with a nebulous existence, and you're missing a millennia old bond, body horror but less body horror and more unsettling multidimensional entity, its hard to maintain a stable form when you're suddenly part human
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 06:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15679656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmickaiju/pseuds/cosmickaiju
Summary: disclaimer: Lovecraft is a bitch, and part human-time lord metacrises can't handle dinner parties.





	Into the Lands of Civilization Came

It was inevitable, really— the chatter of people, of meaningless niceties, the itch of (perpetually unlucky) black tie, the whispers, about them, about Cass, about Rose, as if they couldn’t hear, piling on top of wrongness of this universe, like continuous sandpaper against their flesh, pressing against their shaky attempts to hold things together for the night. They can feel the pressure building inside them, tense frame trembling as they struggle to hold everything back. Their fingers tighten around the now empty glass of champagne they’re holding, doing their best to keep it still, to keep from giving themself away.

Another snide comment from across the room echos in their ears. Their grip tightens further, they can feel the glass creaking under their fingertips, until the pressure is too much, until it shatters, bits of glass tinkling as they hit the floor. The universe has a sense of irony, they think, through the rage buzzing in their head, as the floodgates holding them in crack and crumble in time, and they let themself stretch and curl through the room (and even that’s still far too small they’re still trapped, still need out, past a million other barriers besides this one flimsy one of their own creation), the remains of the glass slipping from between their fingers to join the rest of itself on the ground.

 _‘Get out!’_ they snarl, icy, dissonant syllables echoing loudly through the sudden hush their presence has wrought. But despite the fear they can feel seeping from the humans, they don’t move, they don’t _leave_ , and they can’t fathom how they possibly could have been any clearer. They need them gone— can’t they see they’re already trapped; a caged monster who doesn’t need leeches piercing their flesh and sucking them dry? Frustrated, they reach out, push (although it can’t really be considered pushing, what with how defenseless and insensitive human minds are), leaving no room for misinterpretation of their words this time.

 ** _‘Get out!’_** they repeat, something awful, rasping, _discordant_ , and the universe convulses around them, struggling to accommodate this version of them that can still produce those sounds, that long dead language that never even existed in this world. They’re tearing at the fabric knotted too tightly around their throat (and they can’t tell if they’re imagining things or if that’s shifted too), ripping it open and gasping for air they don’t need, letting their flesh form sink to the ground as the pressure eases slightly, as the humans finally flee.

Except there’s two of them still there, and they yank their body back up violently in frustration, tottering almost drunkenly, eyes unfocused as their prison blurs around them from the action, from the rage still pulsing in their veins.

 _‘Why are you still here?’_ they screech, inflection hovering somewhere between accusative and pleading. But they still don’t leave. Instead, one of them reaches out, grabs their arm before they can pull themself away; something about the touch is familiar.

‘Doctor…’ they hear one say. ‘Everyone else is gone. You can stop now.’

And it’s not the same inflection, but those words lance into their hearts all the same, flames, and rushing water and an old race that deserved to die cutting through their mind. A wedding dress and ginger hair, and a wonderfully loud human that understood them better than they ever could have imagined.

Except she’s gone now, and the lonely, discordant howl of grief escapes them unbidden moments later, the very fabric of reality vibrating with its force, as they sink back down to their knees. They can still feel the bits of her biodata tangled up in them, think of the bits of theirs in her that they know was too much for any human. And here they are, alive and remembering, careening through this life like a trainwreck, bitter and vicious and dangerous— if only she were here with them, or better yet, they were gone and she was still travelling with them— their old self. But now she is gone, and for what? Some half cooked unstable self who can’t even handle a simple dinner party?

‘Doctor please, you need to try to stop— whatever you’ve been doing isn’t exactly… pleasant, and you’re a bit… difficult to look at.’ A voice cuts through their thoughts, and they snap their jaw closed with a sharp click, trying to focus on the humans, on pulling their presence back just enough to ease the pressure on them. They’re not sure if they could manage to respindle themself right now even if they so wished, the pressure still churning through them. The room feels like it’s closing in on them, as they push themself back to standing once more staring at where Cass and Rose stand, clutching each others hand in fear. That’s your fault, they think in disgust, stomach churning, the walls pressing even closers around them. You don’t belong.

 _‘Can we go outside?’_ they question instead, ignoring themself. They always were good at that. But they only get blank stares at their words.

‘Doctor, we can’t understand you.’ Rose says hesitantly, ‘You’re not speakin’ English.’

They blink slowly at her at that, (with more eyes than a human should have, but they can’t manage to fix that right now) frowning as they try again. ‘Can we... go outside?’ they ask again, and to the humans ears, their lilting accent is thicker than usual, but their words are decipherable enough.

‘If it’ll help and you won’t purposefully scare off more people, yeah. You’ve got a bit too many... well a lot of things if you can do somethin’ about that.’ They wince at the accusation, knowing she’s not wrong.

‘It’s too small in here— not sure I can manage the…’ they trail off, gesturing vaguely at their flickering form. ‘This is hard enough as is… still too much pressure…’ They can’t bring themself to look directly at the pair, green eyes dropping towards the ground. It’s times like these they wish humans were more… open minded.

‘I look that awful, huh?’ They think they’ve managed some sort of bitter smile, all ingenuine angles and hollow eyes. They think, once upon a time, they might’ve cracked some sort of joke about imagining what humans must look like to them. But they’re too exhausted for that, right now.

‘You don’t look awful, but you know how us humans can be.’ There are hands, probably, guiding them towards the back door.

Once outside, the fresh air, the _space_ is a relief, and they settle a bit, spread out. They think perhaps they take a deep breath, too, but they’re not sure they need that. It’s still not perfect, this universe still chafes at their being, there’s still all sort of timelines (they can feel-taste the crickets as they chirp in the night air), but it’s far better than a cramped little house filled with all sorts of humans.

‘You’re shivering.’ Rose’s voice cuts into their train of thought. They look up finally, blink at her.

‘Am I?’ they question, but their inflection’s all off and flat and wrong. They don’t feel cold, but they look down, and their body is, in fact, shaking. It’s too much of a headache to figure out if it’s that, or stress, or perhaps too much energy still contained in their tiny, human frame. Still, when one of them drapes a blanket around their shoulders a few long moments later, they pull the weighty fabric tighter around them.

‘I could try and fix it so that never happened…’ they murmur, eventually, wandering a bit further out into the lawn, the others hesitantly following as they stretch out a bit further, shadows spiralling in the darkness of night that certainly don’t belong.

‘You can’t just run away from your problems like that, just change things for the rest of us so easily.’

They laugh then, something sharp and acidic and too many echoes— and the fabric of the universe seems to laugh with them, twisting about as it tugs on the fragments of their being. Once upon a time, they’d had that power at their finger(appendage)tips, could have easily solved this. Now, well, they only had control when they were out of control.

‘You’re right— I can’t do it easily because if I still could we wouldn’t be here in the first place. A stranger in my own domain.’ Cass goes to put a hand on their shoulder (and they distantly noticed Rose seems to have left for the time being, perhaps to give them space, or perhaps to help run damage control), and they’re unsure whether it’s for comfort or _restraint_ , but they move out of her reach (have always been out of her reach).

‘Last of the Time Lords, reduced to decimating parties and a blanket around their shoulders.’ Their voice cracks.

‘There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable.’ Cass replies gently, and they snort, laughter spilling from them again, because vulnerable is such a small word. As if that was anything close to being stripped of their protections, their skills, their bonds; trussed up like a lamb for slaughter and tossed out into the seas of time for the universe to do with as She pleased.

‘Vulnerable…’ they repeat, rolling the word around their mouth, dragging it out— perhaps if they hung onto that long enough, they’d become merely that. ‘That’s certainly a rather... human way of looking at it.’

‘Well, I am human Doctor, in case you’ve forgotten.’

‘Just like everyone one else on this stinking, Rassilon-forsaken planet— a bunch of simple, insignificant little limited dimensional beings who wouldn’t understand basic dimensional theory if I hit them over the head with it.’

‘Is that how you really feel about us then?’ There’s a slight edge to her voice, and something in them boils harder at that, for a few brief moments, but they know better than that— that she’s not like other Torchwood agents, and they swallow back their frustrations, turning to look at her at last (and they think, distantly, she knows just how to get them to admit to things). They blink at her a few times, searching for the words, as they pull the blanket a bit tighter around themself, fingers twisting in the fabric.

‘I— It’s not…’ they frown, mouth moving wordlessly for a few moments. ‘If I thought that little of you lot I wouldn’t have spent much time on Earth before, well, you know, getting… here. Sometimes you lot are rather horrible, and I wonder why I bother but I— I know you’re trying. But there’s so much you can’t perceive, let alone conceive of, and it’s exhausting, to put it simply, to attempt to exist within the constraints and boundaries of your civilization.’

‘Like dinner parties?’ And they’re grateful she knows when to back off too, when they’ve admitted as much as they’re willing (and they’re glad Rose had her around too, when she was stuck here, alone). They think they smile shakily, because she seems to have relaxed slightly, though it might be the fact they no longer feel the urge to spread out further— it’s a bit hard to tell.

‘As much as I’m not a fan of all the pomp and circumstance and snooty small talk, it’s more the people, or, well, their timelines. So much more complex than anything else on this planet, and though they’re comparatively simple compared to other beings, or even other humans that travel the universe, it’s still a bit much for this self. They’re— they’re all swirling and churning and drawing me under, in and in and in and something’s shifting them, they’re so chaotic here, they’re pulling and tugging and compressing and—’

‘Woah there.’ Cass’ voice suddenly cuts through the swirling delirium in their head, and they find her arms under theirs, supporting their weight. ‘Think it might be a bit early for you to be recalling all that,’ she adds, pulling them up, and draping one of their arms around her shoulder. They don’t fight it, the exhaustion of the night suddenly tugging on them, and they merely nod as they watch their arm flicker momentarily around her.

‘Yeah...’

‘Think you can manage going back inside for some rest?’ she prompts, making no indication she’s going to start moving towards the mansion unless they okay it. They take a long look at the house, contemplate it and its same size dimensions and they shudder a bit, the shadows churning about them.

‘I think I’ll take that as a no— how about we go find that bench out in the gardens and take a bit of a rest there?’

They stare at the mansion for a few long moments, before extricating their arm from around her, tugging the blanket a bit more tightly around themself.

‘I’ll go find it— you should go check on Rose, make sure she isn’t overworking herself.’ They begin to move away, but her hand lands on their shoulder again, pulling them back, and the surprise is clear as day on their face as they’re spun to face her. Her face is serious, even as they can still taste the bitter blue of her worry.

‘You do realize it’s not the end of the world if someone spends time making sure you’re alright.’ They won’t look at her anymore, but the words fall from their mouth as easily as they always have.

‘I’m always alright.’

‘That’s a load of bullshit.’ Her voice is sharp, and they shift back slightly, green eyes flickering up to her face momentarily, nervous, watching as she takes a deep breath, words calmer as she speaks again. ‘And from what I know of the circumstances that brought you here, I wouldn’t expect you to be. And that’s okay.’ They swallow, look away— they hate how much, how well, she’s reading into them.

‘I’m here on this planet to help out you lot, not the other way around.’

‘Doctor.’

‘That’s me, your local alien tech support.’ Their voice is too cheery, all too sharp and crystalline and capable of falling apart under a moments’ inspection.

 _‘Doctor—’_ she repeats, more forcefully this time. ‘We both know you’re also stuck here.’

They flinch slightly, almost imperceptibly, away at that, chest tightening. The air seems to grow thinner around them for a few long moments, the silence hanging heavily in the air. Eventually, the atmosphere returns to normal, and they look at her properly, eyes dark, circles heavy under them, even in the dim lighting.

‘I know I’m supposed to, I dunno, get it off my chest or one of your many, many other human metaphors for emotions, but relearning this physical form is more than enough to deal with at the moment. So for the time being, I’d greatly appreciate it if you’d leave me with the slight reassurance that I’m still more of a useful being to have around than a liability.’ Their voice is sharp, final, but softens slightly after a few moments.

‘You’ve been as helpful as a human can be, don’t get me wrong— but I need time and space to work through this at my own pace too. Both of which I’m lacking quite a bit at the moment.’ They offer a wry smile, try to stifle the urge to lash out at their confinement again. It’ll do them no good.

Cass sighs, but nods— if anything, she’d long since learned when to stop pushing.

‘How about we join you in a bit out there, after I check on her— one of you can regale me with tales of your travels again,’ she offers as they begin to move away.

‘Yeah, I’d like that,’ they murmur, voice a bit thick, before they all but seem to disappear into the garden, leaving Cass staring after them. A few moments later, she turns and makes her way inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Some context for this fic: 
> 
> Tentoo's sort of been a pet project of mine for years now, and they've slowly evolved over that time, complete with a terribly glitchy sort of existence. There's plans for a full, proper, multi-chapter fic in the works, starting from their Ship leaving them behind, but as that's still going to take a while, I wanted to get some of my concepts posted since it's been years already.


End file.
